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How to Beat the Fear
of Meeting People
By Stuart Ayling
Recently I presented a training session at a conference. The audience were managers from all across Australia. I gave them a 2-minute break and asked them to get up and talk amongst themselves.
When we resumed I asked how many of them made a point of meeting someone they didn’t know.
One lonely hand went up in the air. Only one!
This was particularly important as the conference workshop was about building effective business relationships.
The moral of the exercise was that we naturally gravitate towards people we know and
like. And it is easy to stick with our current network of clients, colleagues and industry contacts.
It can get scary when we have to meet new people.
But – from a business development perspective – it is extremely selfish when we are not brave enough too reach out to people we don’t know.
It is selfish for us to avoid engaging with people with whom we may be able to develop a mutually beneficial relationship.
I have spoken with many clients and training delegates who are reluctant to meet new people. They feel a bit awkward and unsure of themselves.
Does that sound like you too?
In many cases this reluctance is based on self-centred feelings such as:
- They wont like me.
- I wont know what to say.
- I’m no good at small talk.
- My business in new, and I’ll look like a beginner.
- They will think I am boring.
- It feels weird talking to a stranger.
- They all seem to know each other. I’ll be the odd one out.
It is ironic that most people feel the same
way, and could easily comfort each other. Yet everyone keeps to the ‘safe’ relationships they already know.
So, in our efforts to stay within our comfort zone we act selfishly and do not fully explore new opportunities.
This can be the ‘kiss of death’ to a service business. Especially for new businesses or those that are trying to expand into new areas. Meeting new people is critical to the success of the organisation.
By meeting – and fully engaging – with new people (prospects, industry partners, or referral sources)
we open the doors to:
- Learning about other businesses.
- Learning about new opportunities for us.
- Learning how others achieve their goals.
- Learning how ‘not’ to do something.
- Learning what ‘to’ do from those who are more experienced.
- Learning that we can cope with expanding our comfort zone.
- Learning how to be more successful.
One of the greatest challenges for service providers, professionals, business owners, and new sales people is to have the confidence to strike up new relationships.
You owe it to yourself and to your business (or to your employer).
The tools you will need include:
- Active listening skills.
- Flexibility and patience.
- A true interest in the diversity of other people.
- A good dose of self-awareness, to control your natural communication urges.
- A well rehearsed self-introduction; elevator pitch; 30-second introduction; or, audio logo (whichever you prefer to call it).
- Acceptable social etiquette skills.
- The discipline to ensure you follow up after the initial contact.
For those who muster the courage, and learn the necessary skills, a whole new world of possibilities and success awaits you.
Need help with your marketing? Check
out the range of audio CD's available for purchase at the Marketing Nous online
store.
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